Lucifer’s pizzeria

Tonight’s dinner was one disaster after another. Home made bacon cheeseburger pizza. It did turn out OK I just had too many problems. Here is the chronological order of events

1. I preheated the oven to 450.
2. Then 5 minutes into cooking, we ran out of LP gas for our home.
3. I stated in an earlier blog that I wanted to try pizza on the grill. Here was my chance. What a brilliant idea.
4. I turned on the burners to the grill and just threw the pan on. When it got up to 400 or so I would turn all 4 burners on low.
5. 10 minutes later it was still at 250.
6. I shut it down, turned off the gas and banged on the regulator with some big metal tongs.
7. I started it back up.
8. It got hot quick.
9. I feared burning the bottom of the crust so I took out the sheet pan with the pizza on it.
10. I lowered the heat.
11. I placed the 2 cedar planks, I’ve been way over using, on the grill.
12. I placed an inverted roaster pan on those.
13. I placed the pizza on the roaster pan.
14. Perfect, it would bake and get a mild smokey flavor from the cedar grilling planks.
15. The temp was holding steady at 375-good enough.
16. Smoke was a rollin’, yummy.
17. Tons of smoke was a rollin’. Uh Oh.
18. I peeked inside to see a blazing inferno. Hell pizza for dinner tonight.
19. The planks were engulfed in Satan’s fury. Flames were spreading to the oils on the pizza.
20. I grabbed the pizza off.
21. I tonged the roaster off.
22. I tonged and tossed the planks to the concrete.
23. I extinguished the hell fury with my handy spray bottle. This was done by removing the spray mechanism and emptying the contents of the bottle on the campfire I had just built on the patio.
24. Children gathered, they oohed and aahed much like they were at a 4th of July fireworks display.
25. I placed the roaster pan back on the grill.
26. I placed the pizza pan back on the roaster.
27. I closed the lid.
28. I had no idea how much longer this thing needed to bake.
29. I pulled it off in about 10 minutes.
30. I brought it in, put it on a cutting board, and cut it up.
31. There, Dinner %#$%^%^ Served.

After the fire incident children still hovered, I’m assuming to catch any more excitement or swearing.

Recipe;

• Make some dough from a pack
• Put on pan
• Put flammables on top
• Slowly heat to lightly warmed
• Remove
• Slowly heat to lightly warmed again
• Incinerate
• Bake
• Serve
• Eat
• No BMW club allowed

It actually turned out OK. Not the greatest but by all means edible.

Anthony kept saying “It smells really good Dad.” Note the flared nostrils. Ignore any gunk on the stove.

VIOLA!